I needed a butt protector

Remember the movie Revenge of the Nerds from the 80's? The nerds all proudly boasted huge white pocket protectors. I found out this week that those pocket protectors may have protected my behind. . .

I was sitting in the English office where my desk is, and I was chatting with a fellow colleague. Always needing something in my hands, I was playing with a pen while we talked. At one point, I went to put the pen in my mouth-- I know, not sanitary at all!-- and I saw that the back of it had fallen off.

Aghast, I quickly threw the pen out and congratulated myself smugly on my near miss of disaster. As I sat back down, I saw the ink portion of the pen lying on the floor. Quickly, I picked it up and threw it away as well. Phew- another near catastrophe. Yet, I eluded it with my keen sight.

We finished our conversation, and I headed for a quick trip to the restroom before class. As I was washing my hands, a blurb of color caught my eye. I turned around and saw a three inch brilliant blue blob of ink donning the rear end of my favorite pair of khakis. WHAT? I panicked.

Remember- I teach high school kids and they can be brutal at times. This was not the type of stain that is easily concealed. To cover it, I would have needed the 1980's to be back in style so that I could wrap a sweater around my waist and tie it over this Ohio-sized stain.

I tried soliciting my friends for any assistance. The best I could do was a Tide to Go stain remover that was already dried out! I resigned myself to humiliation and began each class with a brief anecdote about my plight. The students laughed, and I escaped the day.

Pants update: There is no way this stain will ever come out. When I took the pants off, the ink had also soaked into my skin. The stain had expanded.

So, had I been the proud owner of a pocket protector for my butt, this could have been avoided!