Five years ago this August 25th, I was sore and tired. Five years ago this August 25th, I stayed up late watching the Olympics. Five years ago this August 25th, I was in the hospital with my brand new baby boy. Five years ago this August 25th, I knew that this day would come when I would need to make a tough decision.
Should I send Evan to kindergarten this year or not?
I remember being in my hospital bed and thinking that Evan's birthday would mean that I would need to make a decision. Yes, as a teacher, we think about those things, and I did. As I looked at his perfect little face, I worried about making the wrong choice. He would be on the cusp, and he could go either way.
Until these past four months or so, I felt that I had my mind all made up. Of course Evan was going to kindergarten. He is the youngest of three boys and tough as nails. He is smart as a whip and beginning to read. I sent Brendan to kindergarten when he was a young five, and he did beautifully! Evan is social and fun, athletic and coordinated, intelligent and witty. So, it was a no-brainer. Evan was going to kindergarten.
But lately, I have started to worry. What if I send Evan to kindergarten and he isn't ready emotionally? I mean, he still cries for mom, but I suppose so do my older boys when they are really hurt. Maybe Evan won't listen to his teacher. He has been prone to "man disease" where he will not acknowledge me when I am speaking about something he doesn't want to hear. He is also really petite, vertically-challenged, whatever you want to call it. He is a little dude. However, that won't change even if I do hold him a year. My other thought is that if I would have had Evan on his due date, this wouldn't even be an issue. I wouldn't be able to send him if he were one week younger.
So, I come to this. I have to commit to kindergarten by August 4th or back out at that time. It is school registration, and the school needs to balance their classes. Therefore, I have to decide. Should he stay? Should he go? Will holding him back a year hurt him at all? He may set a record for the most mature-- wiser beyond his years-- kindergartner to ever live. Will not sending him set him up to be bored?
This decision has been brewing for five years, and it is time for me to commit now- one way or the other. Any thoughts? Help a desperate mommy. . .
7 comments:
In my opinion, if you're questioning it at all, then don't send him. Holding him back a year now what hurt anything. Holding him back in a year or two when he's already established relationships and his "spot" in school, may. Does he even know there's a choice? Would he be upset if he didn't go? What did his preschool teachers say? It's a difficult decision. But I know you'll make the right one, whatever it is. You know him best! Good luck!
Good questions-- His preschool teachers say he listens, is respectful and kind. He has no idea there is even a choice. I have only told him about preschool so that he wouldn't be disappointed. . . Thanks Tyna!
My son's birthday is July 18 and I knew with every bit of my heart and soul when he was three years there was NO WAY he was going to Kindergarten when he was five. Now he's going into 8th grade this year and no one knows the difference. He's the oldest in his class and it has made him confident and strong and a nice young man. I loved the fact that he had one more year to play and just be a kid without all the stresses of starting school. Would he have done fine...sure he would have, but life is really good right now, too! I don't regret my decision at all and he doesn't really notice the difference.
What does Chris say? Does he have a preference?
I don't think you can make a bad choice here... I think Evs will be fine either way.
One truly serious point to consider... one year of delaying him means one more year you have kids in the house! :)
Jen,
Preface my comment with the fact that Evan is two months younger than Chloe:
Chloe turned five on June 29th. Socially and emotionally she needs to go. If she stayed in preschool another year she would gain nothing as she "would believe" that she owned the roost (and she might). Intellectually we are not as clear, but we really aren't too concerned about that. She's smart enough, she just needs to learn to focus on the task at hand.
Eleven years ago we had to make the same decision with Celeste. Like Evan, she is also an August birthday. We began her in kindergarten. Similar to Chloe she was ready socially. In the first few years of school Celeste struggled in math and other areas. Her freshmen year at West she had a terrific year and even got an A in math.
That same year my sister kept her son back a year. He is six weeks older than Celeste (and a year younger in grade). He has always been the smallest boy in his class (even being the oldest). Andris is a really strong and solid young man. He does well in school, is a terrific baseball player, and has great passion for life.
I will tell you from my perspective we made a great move with Celeste sending her to kindergarten and making her one of the younger ones in her class.
I will tell you that my sister that believes they made a great move with Andris and making him one of the oldest.
How's that to really not help at all.
There is a lot of evidence out that suggests that our young children don't play enough. That things are too structured all the time. Early play time makes long-term creative thinkers.
For my two cents: If cost isn't an issue, why not let a young boy play for another year. If cost matters, then send him along and help him work through the struggles. Either choice will teach him valuable lessons.
And for what its worth: Chloe has that thing you call "man's disease" too.
Hope your summer is going well.
Larry
Hi! Yes, this is a hard decision. Chris and I pondered the same question with Kaitlyn. Her birthday is in March. Emotionally was the question. However, we made the choice that she needed to be around kids her age, and intellectually be stimulated more than what preschool had to offer. In the long run, Kindergarten turned out to be a fabulous school year, and Kaitlyn prospered into a wonderful little girl. :)
Are you questioning the decisson because you don't want your baby boy to grow up or because you really feel he isn't ready.
From what you said to me it sounds like Evan is ready in all areas to start school.
I wish the choice would have been mine last year because I know Emma was ready and so did the teachers and counslers but her b-day isn't till October. Now this year I truly have to worry about whether or not she will be bored like my younger brother was.
Honetly whichever you decide Evan will be fine, I think both options have there pros and cons and you will just have to focus on the pros of whicever you choose.
Good luck and let us know what happens.
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