Warning: If you see a crazy woman sitting in her "mom chair" watching her grown up nine year old play baseball, stay far away. I guarantee you that she's near a breakdown.
On Sunday of this week, I watched Andrew play baseball for the first time this summer. He is now on a kid pitch team, where instead of the coaches, the kids are actually the pitchers. As I watched the very first inning, I laughed at myself sitting in my fold-able blue parent chair that we all carry around like they are precious jewels. I laughed at my bored other boys nagging me in the background as I kept just telling them "Go do something." (They eventually went to the park.) I laughed at the dads, so intense watching their boys play a sport that the dad once loved, too.
Then, all I could think of was my past. About 25 years ago, I sat in similar chairs-- although those chairs were more like aluminum and definitely less comfortable. The chairs always had a hole somewhere where the fabric had torn apart. But, 25 years ago, I was the kid, bored to tears, being forced to watch my brothers in one of their-- what seemed like millions-- of baseball games. Tif and I would always find the nearest park to go and romp around so that we didn't have to just sit. Or, we would beg mom for a spare quarter to frequent the concession stand for some sugary treat.
All of those thoughts poured into my mind at once, and I began fighting the brimming tears in my eyes. How could those memories have happened 25 years ago? How did time fly so fast that I am now sitting in the same spots watching my boys play the game? I truly was momentarily overwhelmed. Grateful that sun glasses were hiding my hysteria, I regrouped and watched the rest of the scrimmage.
I know that time is a constant battle where I will never be the victor. The boys are growing up, and no one is stopping that. Yet what scares me more is that behind the scenes of their life, somewhere I am also aging and growing up. I almost completely lost sight of that. It was that realization that hit me at the game. My only solution? Just keep living life to its fullest and enjoy the boys and my family while they are young. Each step will pass me quickly. In 25 years, maybe they will be sitting in chairs having a nostalgic breakdown, too.
This summer will be the first where all three boys are on separate baseball teams. Sitting in my comfy blue chair will be part of my daily routine. We have baseball games Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday this summer starting next week. So, I hope I can hold it together the rest of the time.
2 comments:
I will never forget the MILLIONS of games we watched. I remember even thinking a giant pile of dirt was far more entertaining than watching the action on the diamond. My fondest memory? Asking mom to suck the "hot" off fireballs. What a champ. Oh, and are we really getting older? I thought those wrinkles on my face and the sag in my arms was just makeup for some play I wasn't aware of being in. :)
I know that watching your brothers play a game they loved was the highlight of your life!!! I too feel like you. I will be 38 soon. Time is passing by too quickly. I love being a dad and can't wait to see my little girls doing those things!
Post a Comment