Andrew and I got in a fight this morning.
My schedule is one this year where I need to leave home by 7:20 in order to get Evan to preschool and get myself to work just a little late. (I haven't seen on time with kids!) I knew going in to the year that many components need to work just right for me to leave at 7:20 on a daily basis.
Today, only one week after school started, things fell apart. Admittedly, I made some mistakes to assist with the undoing.
Mistake One: Andrew woke up this morning at 6:30 and wanted to check his Fantasy Football team first before doing anything else. Silly me, I let him. 20 minutes later I had to kick him off.
Mistake Two: I allowed Andrew to then eat breakfast before getting dressed. Andrew is the entire reason I instituted a "get-dressed-before-you-eat" policy. He is notoriously slow and working at his own pace.
Mistake Three: At 7:10 when Andrew was still not dressed, I lost my patience.
Of course, Andrew is not without blame in this matter as well. Our morning continued when finally dressed Andrew at 7:19-- yes, ONE minute before I am ready to leave-- decides to do his homework that is not due until Thursday. I see him standing there with no shoes, no coat, no lunch packed, using a yellow pencil to answer the questions. I not-so-calmly explained that the teacher won't be able to read yellow, and that I am walking out the door now. It was time to leave.
He gets ready quickly and starts walking to school. Evan and I do our normal drive-by before we continue on our way, and Andrew was sobbing, tears just streaming down his cheeks.
I brake the car. My heart plummets.
I ask him why he is crying. His response: "Because if we have an argument, we usually work it out. We don't have time to work it out now."
I felt my own tears now brimming, threatening to spill. I end up getting out of the car and embracing Andrew on the side of the road. I invite him in the car for us to talk it out together. I drive him further up to road to catch up with Brendan who had been on time and walking by himself. By the end, his sad eyes looked at me with resolution. We were better.
All the way to work, I stewed on this. I despise starting morning with so much anxiety. My heart is heavy even now, but I had hoped that blogging would have a cathartic effect.
What did I learn from today? I learned a few positive notions. 1. Andrew wants to have a positive relationship with me. He was most troubled that we had argued and left things poorly.
2. He wants to talk to me. How blessed am I to have a child who wants to communicate?
At the end of the day today, all I am looking for is a hug from one special little guy.
2 comments:
Okay, this is stirring up all sorts of emotions in me, and here I am crying as I read your post. Too bad I can't even blame it on PMS. :(
I think you've zeroed in on what really matters: your little (big) man just wants the both of you to be happy, and he's worried if you're upset with him. At least he hasn't reached the apathy stage yet.
As for me, I think I'm brimming over because your post reminds me of a tender mom/son moment, and I've already started dreading the fact that I don't get to have any of those for seven days straight next week. Pitiful, isn't it. Shameful, too, that I didn't just let you have your moment. :)
What a great post!! I moseyed over for the foto fiesta and found a very heartwarming story! My boys are like that now..... I pray we keep that kind od relationship as they get older!
Thanks for sharing!
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